I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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