oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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