just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
