Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
