is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
