If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
