The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize