You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
