hell yes lets make some ravioli
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
