I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
