when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
is it fun? or sober?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
