he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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