I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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