two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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