i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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