At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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