Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Come see our sink grown plant.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
