4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
