So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
