what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
