...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
barbara walters just said penis...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
