You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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