May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
