i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
