People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
