Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
