small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
