My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
