I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
