Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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