I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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