If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He felt like a one man threesome
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
