Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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