her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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