Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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