Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
