I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
