not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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