shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
