His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
