some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
