Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
