Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
