If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I want a musical about memes.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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