I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
