That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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