he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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