im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
