Don't you send me to vm
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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