I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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